drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
