he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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