i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
