i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
