we're chasing vodka with high fives
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
