He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize
