Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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