i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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