you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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