Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
