apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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