Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
