Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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