I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
