its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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