loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
