i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
