We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
