Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
