I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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