you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
