I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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