:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
