"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
