I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
