He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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