Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I deserve this hangover.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
