I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When are your genitals available?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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