i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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