I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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