Don't make out with my wife yet
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
