I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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