I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
