I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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