while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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