maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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