What did we do last night that was yellow?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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