Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
