I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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