I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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