I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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