Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
