I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
