A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
