i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
