Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
