just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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