just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
