My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
