Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
